Welcome! We’re glad you’re here.
About us
We are a group of men from all walks of life. We meet each month for a meal, fellowship, cigars and drinks (not required). We have no specific topic planned in advance because we don’t know who or what each man might bring to the circle. We try to be open to the Spirit and allow Him to lead the man or men who needs us most that night.
How It All Began
BNO was born out of one man’s brokenness. It came as a life-changing crisis that he created for himself by his own pride, deceit, and his self-serving departure from the Lord’s will. He lost his way! During a 15-month wife-initiated marriage separation, with divorce inevitable, this same man sought counseling for the first time in his life. He learned to open up, to get real, to be transparent. He found it freeing and soul-cleansing. He’d always thought such behavior was touchie-feelie; for weak men only. But he quickly experienced its healing nature. He confessed everything to his wife, returned to God, and repented. His wife eventually took him back, and they reconciled. Today, with God at the forefront, and a new commitment to his marriage, he is grateful for God’s grace and his wife’s Christ-like forgiveness. Today, he’s completely devoted to the woman he fell in love with 50+ years ago.
Baring One’s Soul
This man never forgot the power of baring one’s soul to another man. “Checking in” is a way to stay on the straight and narrow. Sharing openly and honestly was something he craved and needed regularly. He knew that God approved of living in the light vs hiding in darkness with one’s sins as dark, dirty secrets. He found an accountability partner and they met frequently. God wants community for his children. No man is an island. No man can walk a Christian life effectively alone. Men need men.
Transparency and Vulnerability
About this time, the man began to consider exporting the ‘gifts’ of transparency and vulnerability to a group-size gathering of men. If opening up to another man is good, why wouldn’t it be even better in a group? Why couldn’t others benefit too? Thus, he called a ‘meeting’ of four others – all Christians – in July of 2006. On his back deck, they ate, drank, smoked cigars, and shared from the heart well into the evening.
All’s Well That Ends Well
The evening was well-received by all, and they met again a month later with even more men. They met initially outdoors at restaurants and men’s yards, decks, and porches. To meet indoors, they found cigar shops happy to host them. Word carried and a growing email distro list was formed. This then was the beginning of Boys Night Out as we know it today. The rest is history.
Where We Are Today
BNO is still going strong after 18 years of meeting men where they are and giving them a place to speak freely.
Take a look at this image of a tree and it’s roots. There is a profound metaphorical connection with BNO.
Like the visible trunk and branches of a tree, the surface-level interactions and discussions within our group represent only a fraction of the true depth and strength. It’s beneath the surface, in the hidden network of roots, where the real power and nourishment for life are hidden.
Just as a tree’s roots dig deep into the earth, seeking water and nutrients to sustain growth, BNO delves into the depths of a mans experience, allowing him to unearth buried emotions, traumas, and aspirations.
The vines of this tree are the men of the circle, surrounding and supporting the man who needs it the most.
Many stong bonds have formed through vulnerability and shared experiences. The deeper and more extensive the root system, the more resilient the tree becomes to external stressors.
It’s the same with BNO – the more we as a group give space to men to speak on difficult topics and support our members, the better equipped they become to face life’s challenges.
Comparatively, both the tree’s roots and the men’s group provide a foundation of strength, enabling growth, healing, and the ability to weather storms that might otherwise topple those men who stand alone.
We are not here to solve all men’s problems. As a matter of fact we may never even solve one. BUT, we are here, and ready to support the brothers of the circle.
